u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along
"Stocks are going down, Mark. I’m not ready for this company to go under"
911: hello, 911, what is your emergency?
me: help!! i lost my virginity!!
911: um im sorry.. but.. i dont think..
me: no, i lost my pet, “virginity” its name is virginity !
911: ohhh! xD